so you think that im the stupidest girl in the world? i dont care anymore. you know i used to make these things a big deal for me. i feel pain when these people stare at me, laugh at me. mak fun of me. i cried for a couple of tims i guess.. have you heard of the phrase stage fright? i dont really believe in that kind of thing.. but when im out if my mind, having my brain fly while staring at the prof[like i listen to her] and suddenly calls my name to answer some extraordinarily easy question, i cant answer a thing. i cant answer right. and those eyes, thoes eyes that kills me, when i talk aloud. when something really crappy comes out of my mouth, i know that deep inside you, you wanted to tell me, 'what a dumbass!', because once again i made fool of myself. i am not suppose to be like this ya know?
back when i was in 3rd year highschool, there was this guy i've been crushing. i was inspired. i even tried studying really really hard just to impress him. we became good friends even for just a year. i even cry at night because i hear rumors that he is crushing a girl classmate. but when summer came, i just found out that he was crushing on me too![ya think?] i thought it was love. my heart was broken. is it beacause of too much expectation? or is it because i just wasn't ready? i broke his heart. i broke mine. my world was crushed. i had no reason to live[just kidding!]. but i really felt bad. that i even forget what the date was. thats where it started..